In life, one decision can change everything.

Some of those life-changing decisions are surprising, like when your blind date turns into a fifty-year romance, or when taking the long way home turns into an accident that marks you forever. Other life-changing decisions are obvious even before we make them, like whom we marry, what vocation we choose, or whether or not to follow Jesus. These decisions not only change our life but the lives of generations who came after us. It’s wild to think about!

In disciple making, one decision changes everything too.

Actually, there’s one disciple making decision that stands above the rest in terms of impact. Not only will this decision change everything for you as a disciple maker, but it will also change everything for those you disciple. And, as important as this decision is, most never consciously make it. Can you guess what it is?

It’s not what curriculum you will use, whom you will disciple, or how many to disciple at once. The most important decision a disciple maker must make is, “How will you disciple?” Put another way, “What approach will you use to make disciple makers?”

If you’ve never consciously made that decision then you’re in good company. There’s no evidence that the disciples did. From the start, the plan was to disciple like Jesus did (Luke 6:40, John 13:34-35, Matthew 28:18-20). Paul, too, looked to Jesus as his example in every aspect of life (1 Cor. 10:31-11:1).

So, if the Twelve and Paul never needed to consider how they would disciple, why should you? There are at least four reasons.

1. No one is discipling just like Jesus.

     The rabbi-disciple framework that was well known in Jesus’ time is unfamiliar in ours. In the Jewish culture of Jesus’ day, disciples were called to become a virtual carbon copy of the rabbi. They didn’t just want to know what he knew, they wanted to eat like him, walk like him, talk like him, sleep like him, and think like him. When a rabbi invited a disciple into this training the very nature of the relationship presumed the disciple would holistically become like the rabbi. And do the same with others.

       It’s not like that today. So, if we aren’t discipling just like Jesus, then we must consider how to make a disciple. Failing to think about how we disciple leads to making disciples who look and act much different from the Twelve.

2. How you disciple communicates explicit and implicit messages that the disciple will absorb.

   Imagine a disciple maker tells you how important it is to rest, but their life is filled with so much activity and ministry that rest is absent. Not only that, as he/she disciples you, you are overwhelmed with assignment after assignment. What messages would you absorb about the importance of rest? The possibilities are many, but it wouldn’t be that rest is really important!

   In disciple making more is caught than taught. What we do as we disciple and how we disciple carries more weight than what we overtly communicate as we disciple.

3. How you disciple sets the style, the norms, and the disciple making values in those you disciple.

    Disciples will go as they have grown. In other words, those you disciple will disciple others like you have discipled them. This is as it should be! Paul told Timothy to “entrust to faithful people” what they’d gotten from Him (2 Tim. 2:2). The disciple maker’s wheel shows us that passing on to others is a vital part of disciple making. Disciple makers teach others how to make disciples, and what disciple making is by how they disciple. Even if a disciple deviates from what was done with them, they’re still iterating from the style they were taught.

    The beauty of disciple making is that you can clarify and reform those norms every time you start discipling someone. So your growth as a disciple maker always makes a huge difference!

4. How you disciple one person will impact generations of disciples that you will never meet.

    Since disciples will disciple like they have been discipled, the way you disciple will impact generations of disciples that may not even be alive yet! What an amazing privilege and responsibility! It’s worth the time to reflect upon and improve the way we disciple others.

The task of making disciples is too great an opportunity and responsibility to leave the method undecided. Despite all the talk about discipleship in today’s church, there are few who practice it with clarity. Instead, the label of disciple making is often misapplied to activities such as mentoring, friendship, leadership development, accountability, shepherding, or coaching.

Jesus taught his disciples to think carefully before building a tower or going to war (Luke 14). Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Both point to the truth, that consideration helps protect you from quitting in the middle or ending up in a destination you never desired.

So, how will you disciple? It’s a question worth considering, and coming up, we’ll look at it together.

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Find this helpful? Want to grow as a disciple or disciple maker? Check out my books: The Bicycle Illustration and The Foundation of a Disciple Making Culture. Too much to read? Check out my Podcast, “The Practitioners’ Podcast” for short, hyper focused disciple making episodes wherever you get podcasts!